I’m shocked. My jaw actually dropped. Not dropped like it did in Crazy Stupid Love when Ryan Gosling took his shirt off and looked like he was photoshopped dropped.
No, not like that. Dropped as in Jordan is playing for the Birmingham Barons dropped.
BBM was back. I was on a flight from LHR to the airport of the most over priced sandwiches ever (YYZ, $15 for a grilled cheese. Sure, bahd), and when I took off my Instagram was the usual collective of pouty lips, Leaf game attendees, and Cambodian temples, but when I landed all I saw were pins and barcodes.
Cue jaw dropping.
Then the memories came back. I pictured the contact list, the recent updates, the mixmatch of letters and numbers (you’ve memorized yours already, right?) that seemingly defines you more than your social insurance number, and of course those fuckin’ status updates.
I think we’re all acting a little jaded right now with this whole BBM revival thing. Don’t get it confused, after a day of thinking about it and assuming my 8g iPhone didn’t have the capacity to support the app, I am now chillin in the line to get back on BBM in….. a year and a half? I was late in the iPhone game too. Whatever. Anyways, does no one remember the hassle that came with BBM? The girl that changed her picture every four seconds? The guy that told you HIS ENTIRE DAY in the status bar.
“wake/class/gym-no days off***/dinner/CEEPS!”
And why is the universe giving us something else to talk on? Do we really not have enough ways to communicate? Do you get so overwhelmed with nostalgia that you can’t just use iMessage or What’s App? The need to scan pins, PING people and scroll through the recent updates every .7-1.3 seconds is just too strong.? Oh it is? Okay, just wanted to clarify. I really didn’t think someone would give me another channel to talk to them nor do I need another avenue, but hey, I’ll take it- thanks.
I know who is really excited are all the promoters. Promoters love broadcast messages or copy and pasting the same message to all their contacts. Having all their
bar stars, bottle whores and overpaid entry level bankers friends lined up in a nice little list means efficiency when telling them about the “$120 BOTTLES TN. CAN’T WAIT!! GOING TO BE PACKED AT (INSERT MEDIOCRE CLUB). BE THERE EARLY. CALL ME IF YOU WANT GLIST.” Yes the promoters are excited. I’m sure your electro show will definitely sell out now that you have BBM.
But the couples are excited too. The crazy girlfriends and overprotective boyfriends are jumping out of their skin waiting in line. Nothing says a passive aggressive, “fuck you” quite like a dirty R. We all know there’s a read option on iPhone but .6% of my contacts have that on and along with the preview of what the message says, I think this is the first feature that most people turn off immediately after peeling back the plastic film on their iPhone or Android.
So welcome back BBM. I thought we had lost you to the business men and those feeling they needed a bat phone aka those still with hurtberry but I’m glad you’re back with the general population- see iPhone and Android users. Despite your obvious shortcomings- anyone PING me and see what happens- I have missed a few things. Mostly the emoticons, I won’t lie. I want the green pukey, dancing/party face, the wait a moment and the nerd face back in my life ASAP. I want the shameless 2am group chats with my friends near and far, and I can’t wait to make the first “I’ll go on top” joke when scanning someone’s BBM pin.
BBM this is for you…