I look to the girl to my left and she’s intelligent, stubborn, and driven. The girl to my right is brave, creative, and shy. But you don’t see any of that, do you? I’m gregarious, energetic, and funny. But you don’t want to see those qualities either. The world doesn’t care that the girl to my left is more focused and hardworking than most people I know. The world seems to only care about her golden blonde hair, slim frame, and beautiful green eyes… and I’m sick of it.
I’m sick of people seeing my blonde hair and curves and making judgements. Not necessarily bad ones, but judgements nevertheless.
I’m a woman, and when you’re a woman you don’t get complimented on your personality first. You get told you’re beautiful. Which is nice and I’m sure a lot of women like the compliment, but I still believe there’s a problem. I could care less how I look like if I’m being taken seriously and people are seeing what’s beneath the MAC lipstick and Urban Decay eye shadow. I want someone to talk to me and call me lively, fun, strong, not compliment my necklace or exclaim how good I look.
I lost some weight awhile back and I feel healthier and stronger. But now, whenever I see an old friend, instead of asking about how my school is going, or asking about my writing, I’m told how great I look. Thank you, I appreciate the compliment, but I sincerely don’t care. I care about my career and my internal health. I care about reading more and continuous learning. I care about music. So while I’m happy with my appearance, I’d rather go back to looking as I did and being judged on my personality and intelligence, instead of on my smaller waistline and longer hair.
So, don’t call me beautiful. Don’t call me hot, or pretty, or cute. I don’t want to be complemented on my bracelet, or how good a dress looks on me. Don’t tell me I have nice eyes, a sexy body, or perfect skin. Don’t call me beautiful. All I want to be called is strong. If you’re not about to call the boy next to me beautiful, then you better not do the same to me.
Unfortunately I don’t think that is about to happen. I don’t think people will start to judge women on what they’re capable of, and not what their ass looks like in a pencil skirt anytime soon. You’re probably going to stare at my ass and make judgements, but I’m okay with that because it means you’re going be behind me the whole time.
But this is a problem much deeper than an article on a personal website. I suggest watching Miss Representation.
I couldn’t agree more. We as women are seen as objects rather than people, which is why there is so much value placed on our outward appearance. And that’s wrong. I don’t care if someone thinks I’m hot. I want them to like me for who I am, not how pretty I can be. Care to check out my blog? Downwiththenorm.wordpress.com
Exactly! I totally agree. I can’t wait to check out your blog.
Props Claire, great topic. Entering the work force post grad has shone a whole new light on this for me. Working in a male dominated industry, you realize how prevalent it is for men to see (especially young) women as hot, cute, or try and ask you out, rather than seeing you as a competent equal colleague who may be great at their job and potentially smarter than them!
Thanks, Brook! I’m sorry for the men that sign you off as just a pretty face. I hope you give them hell in return.
Outstanding read, great blog mate!
I’m sorry ladies, but be honest with yourselves, how special would it actually be to meet that perfect gentleman, without having to wade through those pointless fellas? it is a necessary evil to recognise true love. be patient and use your beauty as a tool to see the genuinity in people (a very useful skill, which “less beautiful” women don’t have the same opportunity to practise). Don’t hate the guys which are unfortunate enough to not recognise your inner beauty, but call them out and help them on their path to perhaps one day become that decent guy you dream of meeting, only it would benefit another girl with the same problems you seem to have in the future. karma is a funny thing…
I enjoyed reading this post, do you mind if I share it on my Facebook page?
please! thanks for the support!